About Teen DV
Facts
Domestic violence is not just a problem for adults. Teens experience intimate partner violence in their relationships too. In fact, intimate partner violence is very common in teen dating relationships. Here are some important facts:
- One in three teens experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships, including verbal and emotional abuse1
- Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser2
- One in four teen girls who has been in a relationship reveals that she was pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse3
See more statistics about teen dating violence, including dating violence fact sheets.
Definitions
Dating violence is a pattern of behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner. Teens experience the same types of abuse as adults:
- Physical abuse: the intentional use of physical force to cause fear or injury
- Emotional abuse: non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, intimidation, isolation, stalking or digital abuse
- Sexual abuse: any sexual behavior or contact that is unwanted or interferes with the ability to consent to or control the circumstances of sexual activity
Find out more about the types of abuse.
Youth and Dating Relationships
In the past, two people were "dating" if they were in a committed relationship or courtship. Now, youth may not use the term "dating" or even think of themselves as in a "relationship," even when a romantic connection exists. When we talk about teen dating violence, we are referring to the abuse that occurs between two people in a social or intimate relationship, even when they do not view themselves as "in a relationship."
How Do I Talk to My Teen about Dating Violence?
It's never too early to talk to your kids about healthy relationships and dating violence. Starting conversations - even if you don't think your teen is dating - is one of the most important steps you can take to help prevent dating violence.
Helpful tips for parents:
- Do your own research on teen dating violence to get the facts before talking to your teen. Start with the information and resources on thesafespace.org.
- Provide your teen with examples of healthy relationships, pointing out unhealthy behavior. Use examples from your own life, television, movies or music.
- Keep it low key. Do not push if your teen is not ready to talk. Try again another time.
- Be supportive and nonjudgmental, so they know they can come to you for help if their relationship becomes unhealthy in the future.
- Admit to not knowing all the answers. Honesty helps builds trust.
- Reinforce that dating should be fun! Stress that violence is never acceptable.
- Remind your teen that they have the right to say no and must respect the rights of others.
Get more help starting the conversation, including opening questions.
How Do I Know if I'm in an Abusive Relationship?
Recognizing abuse in a relationship is difficult. There are many types of relationship violence that teens may not view as abusive or even consider "normal." Although teen relationships differ from adult relationships in many ways, teens experience the same types of abuse as adults.
Teens face unique obstacles when they decide to get help. Unlike many adults, teens may not have money, transportation or safe places to go. They may have concerns about lack of confidentiality and parental notification when reporting to police and child protective services. It is important to remember that teens do have the right to a safe and healthy relationship. In some states, teens may apply for restraining or protective orders and get domestic violence services without the help of a parent or guardian.
Take this quiz to see if you are in a healthy relationship.
What Can I Do?
If you or someone you know is experiencing teen dating violence, consider these steps:
- Learn about domestic and dating violence and what the laws in your state say about it.
- Share information you learn with your peers.
- Support your friends and family members, helping them stay safe in their relationships.
- Speak out in your community to end teen dating violence.
Citations
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